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12:26pm September 30, 2014
1:27am September 27, 2014

i chime in with a

sorry for the long submission again

context: this is the R girl (didn’t have a name then) and i still haven’t decided what the M girl looks like. other than that yeah

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WARNING, THIS ESTABLISHMENT IS EXPERIENCING AN INVASION OF KILLER ROBOTS. DO NOT FIGHT THEM UNLESS SUFFICIENTLY EQUIPPED. HUMAN COURSE OF ACTION: HIDE UNDER BED AND REFRAIN FROM INITIATING CONVERSATION WITH THE INTRUDERS. EXERCISE CAUTION AND THANK YOU.

That does not sound like a good thing," Roxanne stated. "Any idea where you can hide from these guys?
Probably under the bed," Michelle said with a hint of worry, "like they said. Or in the closet. Probably the closet.
The closet is too full for a human being to sit inside. It’s also made of wood, which isn’t very good at repelling attacks from angry toasters.
I know! I wanna hide, not shield myself!
Under the bed is the best choice," Roxanne said, putting on her armor and covering it with a blue-trimmed black coat. "Bring something warm and a phone!"
Why the phone?" Michelle questioned curiously. "I know it’s to not get bored sitting there, but won’t they notice the light?
Dim the screen. OK, be right back, stay safe!" Roxanne cheerfully waved, firearm in hand, punctuating the last two words with a door slam.

The cabinets made a smooth sliding noise as Michelle opened them, shuffled around, grabbed a thick blanket and closed them. Wrapping herself in it like a college student who decided to be a burrito, she shut off the lights, rolled under the bed and unlocked her smartphone. She began going through the bookmarks on her browser, but then got a text message…

—-

[CHATLOG]
NEVER TELL YOUR PASSWORD TO ANYONE.
rx-4: wow it’s dark out there
rx-4: that hallway looks creepy when dark
rx-4: i can make something out at the end, i’m going to get closer to it, if it’s a monster wish me luck
misha_: Oh god I hope this doesn’t turn into something out og a horror movie…

rx-4: it was an exit sign.
rx-4: i was intimidated by an exit sign.
misha_: LOL

rx-4: exploring this building in the dark is pretty cool actually

rx-4: i found the pen you lost earlier. it was all the way down in the southeast stairwell.
rx-4: how does a human lose something this hard
misha_: I DON’T KNOW I WAS DRUNK OK

rx-4: are humans supposed to do odd things when drunk?
misha_: Pretty sure we are, mostly because we cannot even.
rx-4: do not do that

rx-4: i hear a tonga…
misha_: What.
rx-4: or at least something that sounds like a tonga
misha_: I have no idea what they sound like.

misha_: The clock startled me hard and I don’t remember setting it.
rx-4: haha well

rx-4: update - it was not a tonga.
rx-4: it was a robotic voice letting everyone around know it was “searching for humans”.
misha_: Lol.
rx-4: very loudly
misha_ Of course it’s still stumbling around - everyone heard it and ran for the Hillary haha.
rx-4: what
misha_: Hillary*
rx-4: i don’t understand
misha_: My phone is auto-correcting “hills” to “Hillary” and I have no clue why.
rx-4: oh ok

rx-4: i think i’m getting closer to it, brb entering combat mode
misha_: Good luck!
[END CHATLOG]

—-

Michelle was setting a new high score on Jetpack Joyride when she heard footsteps, and a robotic monotone voice chanting “SER-CHING FOR HU-MANS…" non-stop. She thought nothing of it, but flinched and set the phone down when the footsteps suddenly darted to her door and something barged into the room. Barely anything could be heard through the grating broken record of a voice. The intruder was then heard tossing something metal aside and walking out, while a red light lit Michelle up. She was looking at an obviously robotic one-eyed head that appeared to be ripped from something.

HU-MAN FOUND, DES-TROYING" ringed out, as she quickly waddled out of the red spotlight. The head started morphing into a head-cannon, and promptly made several clicks. "HU-MAN DESTROYED. SER-CHING FOR HU-MANS…" punctuated her horror as she looked from the spotlight, to the one-eyed robot head, to the light, then back, forth and back and forth and back again. The door flew open, something grabbed the head out of under-the-bed sight and silenced it with fizzled shots.

Shut up! I’ve had it with the chanting and clicking," a familiar voice berated. "I like my killer robots silent, not annoying." Then Roxanne turned her attention to the victim, speaking with worry: "Are you okay under the bed?
Y- yeah I’m fine it j-just kinda missed as I, crawled away. Was it you who threw that thing down there?!
Yeah. Sorry about that, it was the only killer robot I found running around and I thought the head was safe to throw away.
Its head morphed into a freaking cannon that then clicked at me!
…it really did? Good to know.
Don’t lob those around next time you do, okay? Imagine if it wasn’t… empty… why was it empty, again?

THE THREAT HAS PASSED, THE KILLER ROBOTS HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED. THANK YOU FOR STAYING SAFE.

Do you want pizza?" Roxanne suddenly said, trying to amend for the fact she could’ve almost maimed her friend by accident.
That’s a bit… sudden but okay," Michelle said while un-burrito-ing from under her bed, phone in hand, and promptly let out a surprised yelp upon actually seeing her friend. "You’re mangled!
Yeah," agreed Roxanne while looking like hell. The coat was torn in a few places, her shoulder, waist, and legs had the coat and armor burned through and were exposing internal machinery, a few parts looking obviously damaged and emitting sparks. "The robot put up a bit of a fight.
Uh, ‘a bit’ sounds a lot like an understatement. I do have a bunch of coats but you should still get hurt less often. What happened?
It suddenly shot at me out of nowhere, and we just kinda exchanged ammo until it shortl y ran dry and just stood in place," explained Roxanne with a slight electronic stutter. "It didn’t claw at me or anything, it remained still even while I was removing its head. Fun.
I see…" said Michelle. "Also, I don’t think robots can order pizza.
Really?
Doesn’t mean you can’t try, though. They won’t know, you sound and look enough like a human… when I’ll get you a spare coat, at least.
"Cool!" Roxanne said cheerfully and sat down on Michelle’s bed, taking off her battered coat and still looking like hell. "Do you have a phone?
Here you go!

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etc etc the end. jesus fuck this expanded a lot
robots intruders pizza part 2: electirc boogaloo will come p shortly when i’m inspired and procastinating on algebra homework again! until then f ffff UC ~Nav

4:01pm September 26, 2014
11:51pm September 24, 2014
artistsdelrium asked: Robots that can't speak but can make cooing and chirping noises when you're lonely, sad, or scared. Robots that don't understand languages well writing their friends elaborate poems in binary. Robots that memorize the different hums of other robots they meet and turn the sounds into music. Just robots.
4:01am September 24, 2014
Anonymous asked: A robot lover is perfect for cold and flu season. If you get all gross and sick you can still cuddle and kiss your robot without worrying about giving them your cold!
11:14pm September 23, 2014

I really hope I don’t make you guys feel bad when I don’t reply to something or comment on it or I take awhile to get to it. I wish I had more energy to spare for this blog all the time but I’m just not wired that way and I don’t want to wear myself down

I hope you still enjoy the blog regardless

11:06pm September 23, 2014
Anonymous asked: u yes u u need to update more do u remember the good old days when u did it constantly

Yeah I do and I’m sorry :( School started again and it takes up a lot of my free time, and the free time I do have I’m mostly doing things with friends or writing for roleplays in order to unwind

I know I don’t post constantly on this blog anymore and I feel very bad about it and I apologize, but you gotta understand that this blog has thousands of followers and I get a ton of messages, I don’t have the time or energy to personally respond to them all even if I’d like to

If you want to see the blog more active, one of the best things you can do to help me is send more messages for me to queue and post. It helps out a lot and means that I don’t have to come up with it all on my own or hunt down posts to reblog

8:01pm September 23, 2014
iplemons asked: A robot teaching kids their 5 senses in the form of song then going on to sing about the robotic 48372638594 senses and has to be escorted out after 4 hours.

oh my go d

7:03pm September 23, 2014

roboticdreams:

my head is already turning this into a whole story wtf think about a huge terrifying robot dragon that swoops into towns and steals whatever electronics it can get its hands on but come winter or any other time when sunlight is limited it starts to weaken because it is solar powered and maybe its unable to fly properly and gets injured and with the last of its energy it kidnaps an engineer and brings them back to its lair

and the engineer is terrified with this giant monster looming over them but upon looking closer its clear that this creature is weak and hurt and they are just “aw no you need help dont you thats why you took me. let me get my tools”

and its a frustrating and awkward struggle for the dragon to let the engineer touch it or its hoard of electronics in order to get spare parts to help with the repairs but it finally calms down and lets them work and awkward robot dragon/human friendship and WHY AM I THINKING SO MUCH ABOUT THIS

4:02pm September 23, 2014
iplemons asked: A robot whose training to be human so individually studies human personality characteristics and tries them out. One day its shy robot the next is tsundere robot etc.